snowThe title for this post comes from what must be one of the cheesiest of Christmas hits, Mud’s “Lonely This Christmas”. Sung in a fake Elvis baritone voice, the song was Mud’s second UK number one reaching the top of the charts in December 2004. Even cheesier, the song is also responsible for the band’s most memorable British television performance where on Top of the Pops, the song was sung to a ventriloquist’s dummy. On paper then, the song doesn’t have much going for it.

Despite this, the words to the song have had a slight resonance with me this year. With its subject matter being about not being with the ones you love at Christmas, it has repeatedly reminded me that this year will be the first that I do not wake up on Christmas morning with all of my children with me. Fortunately, I will wake up with people I love and who love me back – and I’m not dismissing this in any way whatsoever – but it won’t be all of us together.

The situation for me though is lessened when I think about my eldest daughter, Emily. Whilst she too will wake up in a house where there are others around her and who love her (including myself), it is a possibility that the ‘house…’ she will wake up in ‘…is not her home’.

Sadly, she has not felt able to return to her ‘home’ for almost two months which has meant that she has only spent a few days with her brother and sister during this time. During this same period of time, she has not seen or spoken to her mother at all. Tragically, it is likely that she won’t speak to her mother again tomorrow on Christmas Day: a time when we are force fed the message that Christmas is a time for families.

The events and circumstances that were the catalyst for the current situation are inapprorpiate for this blog: it will do nobody any good to engage in blaming and shaming or resorting to excuse-making, especially given the ongoing sensitivities. But this does not mean that I have to either ignore or dismiss the hurt and loneliness that I know she is currently feeling and having to deal with on a day to day basis.

As we all know, life is hard enough as it is whether you’re 16 or 60. And so I truly hope that those who are able to change the situation and make things less hard for her, do so and at least try and change things for the better for her.

…this is the time of year that you really, you really need love
When it means so very, very much…

‘The 12 Posts of Xmas’ are a series of posts that will be published between 1 December and 25 December 2008. From tales of woe through humour to mere rants, each post is based around a classic Christmas song – however tenuous that may be…!!!

Creative Commons License Everything on this site by Chris Allen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.0 UK: England & Wales License. www.chris-allen.co.uk

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