From the middle of August, coming to a Wal-Mart near you will be the latest toys from the US – biblical figure action toys. From Moses to Jesus taking in David, Goliath and Daniel (in a lion’s den) amongst others, the makers of the ‘Tales of Glory’ toys will be hoping that their action figures will offer a more wholesome alternative to the Spider-Man and Transformer figures for boys and Bratz and Barbie dolls for girls. As the makers put it:

If you go in a toy aisle in any major retailer, you will see toys and dolls that promote and glorify evil, destruction, lying, cheating.

In the girls’ aisle where the dolls would be, you see dolls that are promoting promiscuity to very young girls. Dolls will have very revealing clothes on, G-string underwear.”

A couple of things arise out of this…first, is it OK for Christian toy-makers to go into toy stores and begin checking what type of underwear dolls have (isn’t that a little creepy?). Second, will other toy competitors do the same with the Virgin Mary dolls that will no doubt be part of the range (maybe it’ll be ok for the Mary Magdalene dolls but the Virgin Mary…???). Third, will the male dolls all be ‘smooth’ down under like Action Men and by default take the practice of circumcision to a whole new level. Fourth, will there be dolls that have been inflicted with various plagues or a tableau style range that show the mass slaughters attributed to King Herod? Fifth, will there be a waterproof option of the Moses doll for recreating the parting of the Red Sea? And finally, will there be special collector’s editions available only at Christmas (e.g. limited edition kings, shepherds, angels etc) and Easter (e.g. Barabas and Pontius Pilate for instance)? What were the makers saying about toys that “promote and glorify evil, destruction, lying, cheating…”?

I guess that if kids eventually get bored with various fantasies around Moses and Jesus joining forces to save Daniel from the lion’s den, then a further range of Muslim action figures could be introduced so that they can play out the ‘clash of civilisations’ for themselves and finally fight the good fight, pitting ‘good’ against ‘evil’ in the comfort of their own front rooms.

As the tag-line from the new Transformers movie puts it, “Their war. Our world”. I’ll leave it up you to decide what I mean…

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